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Relationship Coaching

Tips for Effective Communication

Whether you are at work or having fun, it can be frustrating to talk to people who monopolize the conversation. Their attitude toward you can make you feel defensive, angry and hurt, but you don’t have to walk away from the conversation filled with these negative emotions. When you use these tips, you can teach yourself to stay calm and cool when someone refuses to allow you to participate equally in a conversation.

friends-talking

Listen

If you have a loved one who tends to talk more than he listens, you should still listen closely when he is speaking. When you are a strong listener, you are better able to understand a person’s perspective, which will improve the bond between the two of you. In many cases, a person will become a better listener if he feels that you are truly listening to what he has to say.

Maintain Boundaries

Your friends and family members should not have the same freedoms around you that a co-worker has. As you look at the different relationships in your life, you should set appropriate boundaries. If a co-worker starts a conversation about his personal life, you may need to step away while gently telling him that you need to get some work done. He may simply need someone to listen to his problems, but you need to let him know that you aren’t the best person for that role.

Be Honest

If you tend to bottle up your hurt feelings because you are afraid that you will upset a loved one, try voicing your opinions. You may need to tell your wife that you would prefer to drive to a different vacation spot than the one she has picked out, or you may need to tell your friend that you can’t join her for lunch because you have too much work to do. When you are honest about the little things, you will be less likely to let the hurt feelings flood out of you when you get angry.

If you are speaking to someone who frequently interrupts, you may need to be firm and stand your ground. In some cases, a person may not realize that he is interrupting, and a gentle reminder that you aren’t finished talking will encourage him to let you finish your thoughts. However, some people are more concerned with voicing their own opinions than listening to others. In these cases, it may help to have a stronger response as you let the person know that you feel as though he is not focusing on what you have to say.

Communication is important, but it is not something that always comes easily. These tips will help you open up the lines of communication with your loved ones and co-workers so that everyone leaves the conversation feeling as though they were able to safely express their thoughts.

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Dating Coaching Family Coaching Relationship Coaching

How to Recover from an Argument

Communication can be difficult, and no matter how close you are to your loved ones, there are sure to be some misunderstandings along the way. Fortunately, these arguments don’t have to be the end of your relationship. When you learn to communicate clearly after an argument, you can help put your relationship back on track.

making up after an argument

Avoid Making It Worse

When you are in the heat of an argument, it can be very tempting to say things that you know will hurt your loved one. You may want to place blame, make accusations or give your loved one the silent treatment, but these actions will cause the rift between you to grow and could possibly lead to the end of the relationship. No matter how angry you get, you should avoid saying hurtful things to your friend or family member so that you don’t make the situation worse.

Analyze the Discussion

After the argument has occurred, it is time for the two of you to piece together what happened. You should sit down and analyze how you felt, what you said and what you thought during the argument, and your loved one should do the same. Then the two of you can fully explain your role in the argument without criticizing or hurting each other.

Plan Ahead

Once you have both calmed down and evaluated the argument, you should make a plan for how to prevent that particular mishap from happening again. You can work together to form strategies that will keep the two of you out of the situation that originally caused the argument. If the fight with your spouse was about your late night at a friend’s house, then you may offer to call your spouse periodically throughout the evening. If the argument occurred with a friend because she forgot an important event, she may want to create a system that will help her keep track of significant dates. By working together to prevent the problem from occurring again, the two of you will feel closer and will find strength in teamwork.

Offer an Apology

Every argument should end with an apology so that the two of you can move past it. You should apologize for things you said that you knew would hurt your loved one, as well as for anything that you may have unintentionally done that caused the rift to grow deeper. As you apologize, explain to your loved one how you will react differently next time.

Arguments are difficult, but they are a part of relationships. These tips will help you and your loved one recover from an argument so that the two of you can continue to build a healthy relationship.

photo credit: Anthony Posey SIR:Poseyal Kinght of Desposyni via photopin cc