If you are wondering whether a relationship coach can really help improve your relationship, you may be interested in reading this great interview with relationship coach Vikki Hoobyar. Enjoy.
What is your definition of a relationship coach?
My definition of a relationship coach is someone who is trained and joyfully works with individuals and couples to assist them in improving their relationships, and getting them what they want.
Any relationship can be in need of improvement; i.e., the relationship with a friend, co-worker, lover or family member. Or the problematic relationship may be the relationship with your self. Often a client will have difficulty sustaining a dating relationship, a couple may be stuck in a rut or the relationship with a teenager may be stressed.
Coaching can vastly improve these situations and people can create better outcomes than they ever dreamed possible!
How is relationship coaching different than other types of coaching?
Relationship coaching is focused on helping a client be the way he or she really wants to be in their relationship(s). It is focused on today not yesterday. Coaching can help people create happier and more durable associations. Relationship coaching is different from other types of coaching because it is focused solely on the relationships between individuals, couples and groups.
Why did you become a relationship coach?
I was in graduate school and getting psychotherapy training when I first heard about coaching from Tom Hoobyar, who I was dating and later married.
Although I continued on the “therapy” track, I also took advanced NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Training and Destination Coach Training.
I found that the coaching skills I learned were far more effective than the therapeutic skills I was learning in college. Many people came to me wanting information, ideas and skills. There was no problem or objection a client could bring up that I couldn’t handle after the NLP Training.
I became a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California and found it extremely difficult to build my practice. In this new economy, many clients want to use their insurance benefits and then those companies pay so poorly that it really isn’t worth it.
I didn’t want my client relationships and my work life
to be treadmill oriented. I had invested a lot in my education and found that I would reap more benefits and help more people using the coaching model.
After moving to Nevada I decided that I wanted to build a coaching practice rather than go through the process of obtaining another license and building another psychotherapy practice, where the clientele expects to be able to use their medical insurance. It has been very fulfilling!
What is unique about your coaching practice?
The thing that is unique about my coaching practice is that it flows out of my therapy practice. As a licensed psychotherapist, I have a lot of experience with different types of relationship problems.
Over the last twelve years, I have worked with many singles on learning how to maintain dating relationships. I have also worked with lots of couples, parents with children and grown siblings. I’ve coached clients regarding employment relationships and I‘ve worked to help people create great relationships with others and themselves. Whatever my client(s) want to work on…we work on.
I have found coaching techniques to be much more useful to high-functioning people than the classic “dig up the past” methods used in therapy. My coaching practice is fun and fulfilling! My clients laugh a lot! I don’t prescribe for them or diagnose them. I don’t believe that there are any “bad” guys.
I believe that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they currently have, to create the experiences they are presently having. It is my job to connect my clients with their internal resources and to teach them appropriate processes to assist them in obtaining their outcomes. I love what I do!
Who is your ideal client?
My ideal client is someone who wants to improve a relationship, be it a friendship, romance, work or family situation. I enjoy working with high-functioning couples and individuals.
The ideal client(s) does not need therapy but wants coaching. Most people just have some behavioral hiccups and/or beliefs that are getting in the way of how they want to be and what they really want in life.
When is it time for a person to start seeing a relationship coach?
The best time to start seeing a relationship coach is when you realize you have a relationship issue (glitch) that you can’t sort out on your own. You’ve got to want to make an improvement in your life. It is always better to come for coaching sooner rather than later.
As a psychotherapist I’ve seen many couples come for counseling after being in conflict for so many years, that when one of them sought help it was often too late to save the relationship. It is much easier to help people as soon as one or two small issues arise.
I have couples that call me whenever they come up against an issue they just can’t resolve on their own and they don’t want to sweep it under the rug. I also see people who just want more satisfaction in their lives and relationships. It’s a privilege to be able to assist people in creating the relationships of their dreams.
About Vikki Hoobyar:
Vikki Hoobyar has worked as a psychotherapist for over twelve years and has a clinical practice in California. She has an M.S. in Marriage and Family Counseling. She is also certified as a Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (a powerful brief therapy skill) and is a Destination Coach.
As a psychotherapist Vikki’s focus is on relationships and group therapy. As a coach she helps clients with challenges ranging from communication issues to life plan crises.
personal story explains her calling. She is an adult child of an alcoholic parent and has survived the loss of her brother, mother and first husband to alcohol-related deaths. It was after these experiences that she started college at age 40 and completed seven years of schooling, graduating with honors.
She is happily remarried, is the parent and step-parent of three adult children, and has seven grandchildren. In addition to her counseling/coaching practice she is currently at work on two books, which are due in late 2011.