With two out of four marriages ending in divorce, it seems that many people are finding it easier to end their marriage than to endure the anger, pain and fighting of trying to work things out. And while other couples may try to work on their marriage, often they find themselves unable to reconcile and eventually filing for divorce as well. Without the proper guidance, couples may not be able to come to the compromises necessary to keep the marriage intact. This is where a
marriage coach comes into play.
Though many couples feel that they have full control of their relationship and that they do not need the help of an outside person, a marriage coach can help each party better understand the
thoughts and feelings of the other. Without learning to read and communicate with his spouse, a husband may not realize how his actions affect her. Conversely, many wives assume that their husbands purposely ignore their wants and needs when, in fact, their husbands are merely unaware. The basic differences between the way men and women convey information can be the main reason for all of their problems.
Marriages coaches specialize in helping couples communicate and learn the silent cues of their partner. Just as important as verbal communication, nonverbal communication may contradict what is actually spoken. Things like facial expressions and body language are powerful. Couples have to learn to say what is intended, instead of expecting their partner to just automatically know.
Another issue that marriage coaches can target is passive aggressiveness. It is crucial for individuals to voice frustrations in a constructive manner. Attempts to hurt, embarrass or enrage the other spouse are damaging to any relationship. What is worse is that many individuals who resort to this type of behavior are not even aware that they are doing it. A marriage coach is able to observe and make notes to discuss with the couple. Once they are aware of their destructive patterns, each partner can begin to change his or her behavior and begin to work through the issues that divide them.
When a couple feels that their relationship is not worth saving or that there is nowhere to go for help, they may want to consider a marriage coach. Sometimes it takes a neutral observer to point out negative behaviors and suggest healthier, more productive ways to approach disagreements. Asking for help does not mean a couple is weak and cannot handle their personal problems, it means that they care enough about their marriage to give it the opportunity to heal.