It can be hard to admit when you need to make personal changes that will help you be a better person, and many of us delay those changes even when we know that they are necessary. You may continue to smoke even after a visit with your doctor, or you let your anxiety keep you from excelling at work. If you find yourself putting off the changes that you need to make, you need to identify your barriers so that you can take the next steps to being a better person.
There are several things that may keep you from making personal improvements. You may feel anxious about the process of change and what it will mean for your life, or you may find it easier to procrastinate rather than make the necessary improvements. You may experience exasperation or feel like a failure during the process of changing your behaviors, or you may tell yourself that you don’t deserve to be better. No matter what your reasons for not changing may be, you can overcome these barriers and start on the road to success.
Three Levels of Change
There are three levels that you must address in order to stop letting barriers get in the way of personal progress. The first is the practical level, which is where you accumulate the information you need in order to make the change. You may also map out your thoughts and formulate a plan that will help you reach your goals. The second level is the empirical level. This is where you label the barriers that may delay your progress and make plans to overcome them. The third level is the core level, which is where you identify your personal issues that may prevent you from being successful. When you change the way you perceive yourself or the actions of others, you are working at the core level.
The way you approach the path to personal change is up to you. However, making changes at the core level is usually the most efficient approach to self-improvement. When you target core issues, such as self-doubt, anxiety or fear, you will find that the other levels of change are also affected.
Everyone has something that he would like to change, but not everyone is willing to go through the process of personal change. If you would like to improve yourself, then it may help to analyze each level of change to see which one may be the best approach for you.
If you are suffering from the effects of stress and worry, then you may be looking for ways to overcome the tension so that you can relax. However, many people find that it is difficult for them to relax, and typical relaxation and meditation exercise don’t always work for them. These steps may help you minimize the stress, worry and anxiety that you are feeling. Start by performing the sequence at least once a day so that you become familiar with the process. The steps do not need to take a specific amount of time, and you should follow your natural rhythm in order to benefit from the exercise.
1. Acknowledge Your Surroundings
Before you relax, you need to take time to identify your location and your surroundings. Take note of where you are and what is going on around you. This will help you turn off the negative thoughts in your head that usually keep you from relaxing. You might notice where you are sitting, the time of day and the weather outside, and try not to focus on your thoughts and feelings.
2. Ground Yourself
The next step is to ground yourself so that you can recognize your connection to the environment. Focus on your posture and your sitting position,
natural for you, your exhale should be noticeably longer than your inhale. After a few minutes, you will notice that your heart rate is beginning to decrease. You may also notice that you are breathing deeply from your diaphragm, which is how you breathe when you are asleep. Your diaphragm is located just below your chest, and you should notice that your stomach is rising and falling as you breathe.
4. Think Positive Thoughts
As you continue to breathe slowly and deeply, you should start to think positive thoughts. Focus on calm messages that bring you a sense of peace and reassurance. You can even imagine that a person who loves and supports you is saying these positive statements. Continue these affirmative thoughts until you feel as though you are relaxed and positive enough to return to your daily tasks.
5. Rejoin the World
Once you have determined that you are relaxed and calm, you need to slowly rejoin the world around you. Focus on staying calm and peaceful as you open your eyes and gently continue with your work.
If you have had trouble finding a relaxation technique that works for you, try these simple steps. You may notice that they allow you to feel the calm and peace that you need in order to combat stress.
Criticism can be hard to hear, especially when it comes from certain people or is phrased in a way that is less than flattering. However, criticism can be helpful, and it is essential in order to grow and develop personally and professionally. Before you become offended about someone’s opinion of your actions, you will need to determine if the criticism is constructive or destructive. Here are some questions that will help you decide whether you should take someone’s criticism to heart.
Who Offered the Criticism?
Many people believe that they are entitled to their opinion, but they don’t always keep these opinions to themselves. In order to decide whether the criticism you have received is helpful, you need to look at who said it. If it is someone who tends to give unsolicited advice frequently and without much thought, then it may not be something that should concern you. However, if it is someone who acts and speaks with wisdom on a regular basis, then you may want to take what they have said into consideration.
In What Spirit Was the Criticism Offered?
As you evaluate the criticism, you need to pay attention to the tone in which the comment was delivered. If it was harsh, judgmental or said in anger, then it may have been said maliciously rather than constructively. If the statement was made in a manner that was genuine and kind, then there is a chance that the criticism was meant to be helpful. However, even criticisms made in the heat of an argument can be constructive, and you may find that a comment that is delivered harshly can still help you grow and develop. You should listen carefully to what was said, and you should take time to evaluate your actions to determine if there may be a grain of truth in the statement.
How Should You Handle It?
If you are offended when people offer criticism, then you are not alone. Most people get defensive when they have been criticized. However, you should not let your emotions keep you from growing and developing. If the statement was made by a person you admire and respect and was said in a constructive manner, then think carefully about how you might be able to use the advice to improve yourself. It may sting to know that you have a flaw or need to make improvements, but you should remember that the criticism was offered to help you be a better person.
It is only natural to feel offended when someone offers
criticism, but you don’t need to let this keep you from listening to what is being said. Rather than becoming angry or upset, take some time to evaluate the criticism to see if you can learn and grow from it.
Life coaches have helped many people, and their advice can benefit those from all walks of life. Even the most successful and popular celebrities in the entertainment industry have been able to improve their health, careers, finances and marriages by consulting a life coach. Many celebrities find themselves feeling overwhelmed or lost once they have become famous, and life coaches can help them sort through the difficult situations that face them. While life coaches can help anyone who asks for assistance, they are especially helpful for those who have found themselves in the public eye.
Types of Celebrities Who Use Life Coaches
Life coaches have assisted many people who have attracted the attention of the public. A-list actors, award-winning musicians, directors and producers have called on life coaches to help them make decisions about their lives. Life coaches have also helped CEOs of major companies so that they can make personal and career decisions that will promote the health and prosperity of their corporations.
Why Do Celebrities Need Life Coaches?
Celebrities are not immune to many of the pitfalls, doubts and questions that the rest of the population deal with on a daily basis, and their highly public profile can often make it more difficult for them to decide which choices to make. The rich and famous must learn how to balance hectic schedules, the adoration of fans, large paychecks and attention from the media. A life coach can talk things out with them while helping them further define their personal and career goals. This helps celebrities achieve the happiness that they sought when they first started their careers. Some of these famous people have even gone on to become life coaches themselves so that they can help others find the same balance and joy.
Celebrities Who Have Used Life Coaches
Some of the most successful people on the planet have chosen to take advantage of all that life coaches have to offer. Oprah is a famous television personality who has often benefited from the wisdom and advice of a life coach. Musicians have also used life coaches, including the metal band Metallica. When the members of the band were feuding, a life coach was able to help them identify their goals and find ways to reach those goals together. Actress Nia Long earned her stardom during her time on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” and she learned how to live a fulfilling and joyful life after some sessions with her life coach. Danny Bonaduce, who was famous for his role on “The Partridge Family,” found balance in his life with the help of a life coach. He then became a coach in order to help others.
Celebrities are no different than the millions of other people on the planet, which is why so many are turning to life coaches to help them sort through the difficult decisions that they need to make. When it comes to finding joy and fulfillment, people of all incomes and notoriety can get the advice they need from these professional advisers.
Many of us go through life hoping to become wiser as we get older, but there is much more to wisdom than just age and intelligence. Wisdom requires us to use our experiences to help us form sound and reasonable judgments, and we can take some excellent advice from the leaders around us who are considered to be truly wise.
You don’t have to wait until you are older or smarter to be wise, and you don’t need to have a great deal of life experience under your belt. Your level of wisdom has nothing to do with your age, which means that a 20-year-old college student can be just as wise as someone who is 80 years old. Rather than waiting for life to teach you lessons through a number of experiences, start applying the lessons you have already learned. As you live each day, reflect on what you have done in the past and how the outcome has affected your life. You can then use those reflections to help you draw sound and sensible conclusions.
Embrace Different Perspectives
Wise people are able to analyze situations from different points of view rather than focusing on a single perspective. For example, a wise person who has been asked for advice will consider social influences, cultural differences and an individual’s life history before offering their opinions. They are also able to look at opposing perspectives and take both positions into account as they are forming views about disagreements. By carefully considering individual factors and each viewpoint when you are asked for your opinion, you will be able to help others better understand their own perspectives and how they should address their problems.
Incorporate Common Good and Self-Interest
Wisdom embraces a balance of common good and self-interest, which means that a wise person will help others while also accomplishing their own goals. In order to be wise, you must set aside your focus on your personal desires so that you can benefit others. However, you must also find success and joy in what you do each day. You must blend your own personal goals with your desire to make the world a better place.
Wisdom is not something that is automatically granted as you get older, but these strategies will help you apply the lessons you have learned during your life to help you make wise decisions each day. You may even find that your life begins to hold more value and significance.
When our ancestors were focused on hunting and gathering, they were not concerned about finding fulfillment in life. Their purpose was to keep themselves and their loved ones alive by securing a safe place to live and finding enough food on which to survive. Today’s culture, however, has prompted Americans to look beyond basic survival strategies and start thinking about how to enjoy their lives to the fullest. This quest for happiness has led to many books, seminars and
counseling sessions that are designed to help people find joy in living.
Why Search for Happiness?
Research has indicated that happiness is beneficial for many reasons. The chemicals that are released when happiness is felt may result in an increase in financial earnings, a higher level of creativity and a stronger immune system. Happiness is not just a feeling. While it is an emotion, happiness can have a powerful effect on the body. A burst of joy lasts longer than the effects of dopamine, and it can affect how you make everyday choices and decisions. If you want to become a happier person, you need to adjust your perspective about the things that you experience daily.
Happy people often take measured risks. They are not
afraid to try something new or different, and they accept the fact that they may not like the outcome. They may feel a small amount of anxiety over their decision, but they also know that their willingness to step outside of their comfort zone will lead them to grow and develop as a person. As you pursue happiness, use your sense of curiosity about the unknown to encourage you to explore
and extend your horizons. However, you should also allow yourself to enjoy familiar pleasures so that you have a healthy balance.
Finding Joy in Others’ Fortunes
Happy people do not dwell on what they don’t have or what they wish they had, and this lack of jealousy allows them to find joy in their friends’ successes and victories. By sharing these celebrations with others, you can strengthen your relationships so that you also benefit when you have good news to share with your friends and family.
While finding happiness is important and beneficial, it should not be the ultimate goal in life. Studies show that people who experience extensive bursts of pleasure may not appreciate the smaller joys that they encounter. To truly benefit from happiness, you must work toward a purpose in life while enjoying the process that it takes to achieve your goals.
Clutter is unattractive and hinders productivity, however many individuals may not realize it can also contribute to some serious health issues. Upper respiratory problems, decreased energy, depression, and weight gain have all been linked to cluttered or disorganized home environments. While more prevalent in severe cases, even slight levels of clutter can interfere with a healthy lifestyle. Still, when organization is simply not your forte, how can you minimize these effects?
Sometimes, clutter begins with good intentions. Maybe you were going to read that stack of magazines and newspapers, but just never found the time. Perhaps you wanted to keep those souvenirs and mementos from family vacations and special events, but you have not been able to find a way to display them. Whatever the reason, the clutter has gotten so out of control that you have no idea where or how to begin organizing your space, so now it just continues to pile up.
The first item on the agenda is to eliminate any overabundance of paper. Magazines that are older than two months past their publishing date and newspapers that are more than a couple of days old can be put in the recycling bin or donated to a local library, hospital or physician’s office. Other items will likely require some family cooperation.
To prevent becoming overwhelmed by the task of organizing and removing unnecessary items around the home, the best approach is often to divide and conquer. By delegating various tasks to each member of the household, the amount of work to be done will seem much more workable. However, once each room or area of the house has been assigned, the task at hand still may seem insurmountable. But by making a list of individual tasks within your room or area and finishing them one by one, your goal of organization can be achieved much quicker and easier than you may have imagined.
Start small; begin with one drawer or shelf. Though it can be tempting to stop working on one task when another catches your eye, resist the urge. Jumping from task to task makes it more difficult to see how much has been completed and what still needs to be done. Moreover, numerous unfinished tasks give the illusion that the job, as a whole, is more complex than it actually is. Thus making it seem hopeless that completion is a realistic objective.
Another issue that may arise when organizing your home is what to do with everything. For items that are used routinely, of course put them in their rightful places. All other items have a few options: donation, garage sale, garbage or recycling bin, or keepsake boxes. Items that are no longer useful are not necessarily trash. Ask yourself: is this item an important memento of a special occasion or event? If so, use a bin, trunk, box, or other storage container to house it, then put the container in a closet or under the bed so it will no longer be part of the clutter. All other items can either be donated or put into a garage sale.
Still, some things are no longer useful or meaningful and will not be of interest to others. Such items need to be discarded. Old, broken or outdated electronics can be recycled by electronics retailers and some will even offer gift cards or discounts toward new products. Additionally, older computers, televisions and other devices may be needed by local charities, schools or other organizations.
When clutter becomes excessive, even items that are important or useful may become concealed or buried. Still, any level of clutter or disorganization can be defeated with a little determination and planning. It all starts with one shelf or drawer.
In 2010 it was estimated that 5.2 million children and adolescents between the ages of 3 and 17 have ADHD. However, not all of the individuals who have ADHD are children, it is now recognized that many adults suffer from its symptoms, as well. Still, the people affected by this condition are not always prepared for the challenges that it can present.
Unfortunately, an ADHD diagnosis does not come with an instruction manual. However, there are professional ADHD coaches who can offer a different perspective on life with this condition. ADHD coaches are trained in practices and principles that are most helpful to individuals who have ADHD, as well as those who love and care for them. The techniques utilized by ADHD coaches are tactical rather than psychological, because the focus of the ADHD coach is to develop more productive ways to accomplish things. By addressing time management and the individual’s focus on tasks, the coach encourages the individual to be more aware of his habits and how to achieve more effective ones.
Since individuals with ADHD tend to become overwhelmed the magnitude of projects, coaches work with them to break down the whole task into smaller, more manageable parts. By using this approach, an individual is more likely to stay focused and complete his project. Coaches also work to teach clients how to identify and understand their individual needs and set goals accordingly.
Individuals with ADHD have considerable difficulty maintaining focus and seeing projects through to completion. But, throughout the process, the coach will offer guidance and support, as well as helpful feedback and suggestions to help his client stay on the right path. Eventually, the client will learn the skills necessary to hold himself accountable and internally remind himself to stay on track. Until that happens, the coach serves to provide those reminders.
Not everyone will gain the most benefit from coaching. An individual must be fully committed to the hard work and time it takes to see true and lasting progress. Simply hiring a coach does not guarantee results. Moreover, it is important to remember that the coach is merely a source of encouragement and support, he is not an on-call personal therapist. Additionally, he can make suggestions based on observations, but he will not be able to tell an individual what to do and when to do it. Therefore, it is crucial that individuals understand what is involved and what is expected before beginning this journey.
the wonder of the coming year. During this special time, a vast majority of the population makes some sort of New Year’s resolution. The idea is that with the coming of the New Year, it is possible to start anew. Thus overwhelming tasks, such as losing weight, quitting smoking or taking control of finances can seem firmly within reach, after all, there is a whole year to work on it.
Unfortunately, for many, New Year’s merely serves as a reminder of unfinished tasks and failed attempts to change for the better. As the calendar page turns to reveal a new year, an individual may think back over the previous year and feel defeated if he did not accomplish all of the goals he set for himself.
He may not be able to focus on the accomplishments and positive things that transpired; instead he may have a negative mind-set, only concentrating on his failures and disappointments.
Countless individuals wrestle with feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing, particularly as they begin to obsess over factors that contributed to previous failures. For these individuals, each year begins with a new, vicious cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy, in which the letdowns compound into a belief that no goal is attainable and any future attempts will be equally fruitless and therefore futile. At this juncture, a life coach can offer the positive support and encouragement needed to not only stop this cycle of negativity lingering from past discontent, but also to suggest new ways to approach keeping a New Year’s resolution.
Finding a coach who has knowledge about successfully triumphing over a specific hurdle can unlock the potential hidden behind all of the self doubt and delusion plaguing countless people. Therefore, someone who has attempted to quit smoking or lose weight on her own numerous times, only to fail, can indeed find the path to victory, simply by finding the perfect coach to show her the way.
who despite their best efforts can only offer opinions, a life coach has fought this battle many times on behalf of others and may have even experienced the same issue himself before using his insight and passion to help others. For many life coaches, career coaches and health coaches, a personal struggle led them to help others avoid the difficulty experienced in overcoming these challenges. Moreover, a coach has is unique in that there is no bias or personal motive tied to the assistance offered. As a professional mentor, his only intention is to drive the success of his client. He seeks no personal gain and feels accomplished only when his client has realized her goal. In a world of individuals who only desire self-promotion, this level of support can seem like a foreign concept, but lacking such strong encouragement is perhaps part of the reason of what causes so many to be unsuccessful.
Corey: Hi! My name is Corey Quinn and I’m the founder of MyCoachMatch.com. We are a site that matches coaches with clients based on fit. I am here with Pauline Haynes. She is a personal life coach. She specializes in working with women who are making a transition from one life stage to the next. Welcome Pauline.
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: Thanks Corey. It’s a pleasure to be here.
Corey: Pleasure to have you. So could you share with us, why are you a coach?
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: I think I can put it very simply and I’d say it’s because I care, because I like people, because I am curious about people, and because I have this passion to make a difference and to serve, and I think it all started when I think for about 10 years I worked with people living with AIDS. It gave me an opportunity of being in a very intimate setting with people who were oftentimes, they were at the end of their lives, but they didn’t feel like they had stopped living. They were in a place of almost bliss. They were in a place of joy, of fulfilment, of letting go, of giving over, of just being very centered in who they were, and I felt such a tremendous honor in being with them at such a vulnerable time in their lives, and I was able to listen to them, to hear them, to hear the joys of their lives, to hear the sorrows of their lives, and that made me realize that – there was something I could do and after 10 years, lots of people I have worked with have passed away, and then I needed to take a break. Contrast that with working in a corporation and for a long time, I did cultural awareness training, and what I noticed with teaching corporations is that they are very – they never take all of themselves to work because everybody has to wear a mask and the mask has to do with, how do I fit in to the culture of this corporation? And oftentimes if they’re in sales, it’s about, how do I upsell the next client? How do I bring in more revenue? If it’s in production, it’s how do I do this quicker, faster, more efficiently? And if they are doing anything creative, it is usually within the confines of the company culture, and it is not that they don’t enjoy their job, but it is almost as if all of them couldn’t be at work. For instance, it didn’t matter where they were raised, it didn’t matter what their cultures were, it didn’t matter what their socioeconomics were, it didn’t matter what their politics or their religion were. All those things had to be left at the door. And so when they came in to work, they had to be at work based on, how do I fit in to this culture? And because I did that, people would come up to me and say, wow! I am so glad that you brought some awareness about what it is to be who I am, but I can’t be who I am at work. And so, there is always this part of them that say, I want more and I’m dying inside and I really want to feel fulfilled. I want to be full of who I am authentically, but they didn’t have the opportunity of doing that. From listening to those speakers over and over again that I realize that our corporations are not set up to actually benefit the individuals. Now, this is not to say that corporations are bad. I’m not saying that at all. I am saying that what it is that we are all needing, seeking as human beings is to have that sense of fulfilment and it is because of that sense of fulfilment and the lack that existed in some of the corporations with which I was teaching that I realized that there’s a need for people to just connect on the human level. So that in a word, that is what got me into coaching.
Corey: That’s wonderful. It’s great.
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: Thanks.
Corey: So when should someone come in to see you as a personal coach?
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: I think people should come and see me when they are going through a time in their lives when they realize that the way my life is right now is not the way I want it to be, and I believe that everyone of us can get to that stage when something just isn’t working. We know what we want and we don’t exactly know how to get there, but we know that business as usual, isn’t it. But sometimes when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you have that goal – let’s face it. Each and every one of us, we have dreams. We have dreams to do, be, or experience something more and whatever the constraints are, sometimes we get stuck in that place that we think we can’t do any better, and sometimes we know the answers. The truth is, most of us know exactly what it is that we need to do.
Corey: Could you share with me Pauline, who is an ideal client for you?
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: The ideal clients for me are the people who are in transition. The people who are wanting to streamline their lives – lives maybe kind of going spinning out of control and they’re just wanting to have some tools and some guidance about how to get to where they want to go, people who are needing some motivation, people who are searching for their lives’ purpose, people who are committed to doing something better, different, to make their live be excellent. The truth is, I think we all want joy, fulfilment, and happiness in our lives. It’s very simple. It’s not complicated. So it’s when that – it’s like you are going along and everything is fine and then something happens and then day after day, you have this nagging feeling that there’s got to be more, there’s got to be more, there’s got to be more. That’s where I come in.
Corey: Okay. That’s great. So in your experience as a coach, how important is match between a coach and a client?
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: Oh my gosh! It is absolutely vital, and if there’s such an intimacy that you’re sharing with each other – in fact, as a coach, I am sometimes hearing things that my client does not share with anybody else and the client has to know that I can trust this person to be honest, to be truthful, and truth is something undervalued or underappreciated, and when you are in a place that you can be really honest with the things that you’ve done, the things that you want to do, the things that you don’t like, it takes a certain amount of courage to do that, and so, you have to have that symbiotic relationship with somebody to be able to be – it’s in essence, being naked in front of a person and being okay with that and to know that you are going to be held in that vulnerability to say exactly what it is that you want to say to be who you are and not be judged – to just be accepted, appreciated, to be listened to, and to be cherished in that vulnerable space and it is only from that space that I think people can begin to make changes and that is very vital for me, so that relationship is key. It is even more important than the techniques that you use because the techniques becomes secondary. Again, I come back to the human nature of who we are, and I come from the very heart-centered place and I think if the heart is not connected, then there’s very little less for us to work with.
Corey: That’s great. Could you share with us a success story?
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: Oh my goodness! I’ve had several, but the one that just came to mind is of a young woman I’ve worked with for – I think it’s about four months, and she was at that she was feeling unfulfilled. She was feeling creatively stuck and within that four months, she has written a book which has been published. I have never known anyone be so totally focused on their next steps. I mean, that gives me joy because it is like putting a seed on the ground and the seed had been germinating and germinating and I came in, and just holding our hands and walking with her to the point of getting that book to publication and it’s done, and that took four months. It is totally unheard of for anyone to complete a novel in such a short space of time. It’s her very first book and I’m so happy for her.
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: Thanks! And the process works.
Corey: Yeah. That’s great. Well, thank you Pauline so much for being with us here today.
Personal Life Coach Pauline Haynes: Corey, thank you so much for having me and I look forward to having more people come into your website and me doing more service to more people.
Corey: Wonderful. Thank you so much.
About Life Coach Pauline Haynes:
Are you frustrated with an aspect of your life, and not sure how to stop making the same choices?
Are you at a cross road, feeling stuck and need guidance to help you find the next steps?
Maybe you are simply hungry for more peace, joy, passion, contentment, and love in your life.
There is hope!!!
Through a collaborative process you and I can find the right strategies, chart a course, set goals, take the necessary steps to get you to your desired outcome.
I will be your accountability partner to guide you, to push you, to be gentle with you, and to be firm with you until you arrive at your pre-determined destination to be transformed into the pure essence of you.
As a coach I come from a heart-centered space, using my intuition and interpersonal communication skills. I honor you as the expert in your life. The education I received is from:
The Christopher Howard Leadership and Coaching Academy