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General Life Coaching Spiritual Coaching

How to Be an Optimist

optimistic

If you are generally a pessimist at heart, then you are not doomed to always see the worst. By making a few adjustments to your thinking, you can become an optimist, which will help you cope with the difficult times in life while also enjoying each day to the fullest. Here are some tricks that will teach you how to think positively.

Listen to Yourself

Before you can become an optimist, you have to listen to the things you say to others so that you can hear how often you are being negative. You will also need to keep track of your negative thoughts by writing them down throughout the day. By identifying exactly when you are being pessimistic, you can start to change your pattern of thinking.

Think Positively


Back It Up
Once you have identified your negative thoughts, you can start to counter them with something that

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is positive. You may initially feel uncomfortable and unrealistic when you force yourself to see the sunny side of life, and you may feel as though you are being deceitful by letting your pessimistic thoughts take a back seat. However, this addition of positive thinking will help you slowly transform your overall outlook.

As you find yourself having negative thoughts during the day, take the time to write them down. Next to each thought, write down the evidence that supports your negative feeling. You can then add another column with a conflicting positive thought and its evidence. After you have practiced this for a while, you will soon be able to identify the evidence for each feeling without writing everything down.

Give Positive Feedback

Once you have started finding the positive aspects of your daily life, you can start giving others positive feedback. You can tell your coworker that he did well during his presentation or praise your daughter for her high grade in math. Your praise should also extend to yourself. Admit that you have done well at something or that you have succeeded where someone else has failed. Your positive feedback for others will brighten their day and encourage them to continue working hard, and you will start to feel a sense of confidence that may have been missing before.

You don’t need to live your life focusing on the negative things that happen. With a healthy dose of optimism, you can start enjoying the things that you experience daily while also bringing joy and positive thoughts to those around you.

Categories
General Life Coaching Personal Coaching

Steps for Gaining Wisdom

wisdomMany of us go through life hoping to become wiser as we get older, but there is much more to wisdom than just age and intelligence. Wisdom requires us to use our experiences to help us form sound and reasonable judgments, and we can take some excellent advice from the leaders around us who are considered to be truly wise.

Start Now

You don’t have to wait until you are older or smarter to be wise, and you don’t need to have a great deal of life experience under your belt. Your level of wisdom has nothing to do with your age, which means that a 20-year-old college student can be just as wise as someone who is 80 years old. Rather than waiting for life to teach you lessons through a number of experiences, start applying the lessons you have already learned. As you live each day, reflect on what you have done in the past and how the outcome has affected your life. You can then use those reflections to help you draw sound and sensible conclusions.

Embrace Different Perspectives

Wise people are able to analyze situations from different points of view rather than focusing on a single perspective. For example, a wise person who has been asked for advice will consider social influences, cultural differences and an individual’s life history before offering their opinions. They are also able to look at opposing perspectives and take both positions into account as they are forming views about disagreements. By carefully considering individual factors and each viewpoint when you are asked for your opinion, you will be able to help others better understand their own perspectives and how they should address their problems.

Incorporate Common Good and Self-Interest

Wisdom embraces a balance of common good and self-interest, which means that a wise person will help others while also accomplishing their own goals. In order to be wise, you must set aside your focus on your personal desires so that you can benefit others. However, you must also find success and joy in what you do each day. You must blend your own personal goals with your desire to make the world a better place.

Wisdom is not something that is automatically granted as you get older, but these strategies will help you apply the lessons you have learned during your life to help you make wise decisions each day. You may even find that your life begins to hold more value and significance.

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General Life Coaching

Mixing Friendship and Politics

Typically, we like to surround ourselves with people who share our beliefs and opinions. However, there are bound to be instances when we do not agree. Such is likely the case with politics and if you are like the vast majority of people, you may find your Facebook wall filled with an array of support these days for one political candidate or another. Although some of the opinions expressed mirror your own, others may be directly contrary to what you feel. And no matter how important the friendship is, you will probably find yourself somewhat irritated when your views are challenged.

politics american flagStill, you are probably not going to change the mind of a friend anymore than he is going to change your way of thinking. Fortunately, there are some ways to handle this situation without ending a friendship.

Follow Mom’s advice

If you grew up with siblings, you probably had your fair share of taunting and teasing. If you are like most of us, whenever you would bring your concerns to your mother, her response was probably to ignore the offensive behavior. This advice is just as good today as it was then. You must ask yourself, “Is it really necessary to spend precious time and energy on this?” If it is not harming you, just ignore it and move on.

Put your settings to use

If you simply cannot ignore the post on your own, technology can help. Facebook and other social networking sites have settings for a reason: if you do not want to see something that has been posted by another user, hide the post. The poster will never know you have hidden their content and you will not have to see it anymore. Problem solved.

Remember why this person is a friend

If the person who is posting things you would rather not see is a close friend or relative, chances are you have known his views for a while and have learned to appreciate him in spite of them. If the poster is a lesser known Facebook “friend,” it may serve you better to simply remove them.

Think before you respond

Remember that everyone is entitled to an opinion and differences keep life interesting. Take a moment to collect your thoughts and calm down. Then, if you still feel compelled to respond to a post remember that the internet is a public forum and your comment will become visible to the masses. Anger can cause a whirlwind of problems, quickly turning a small disagreement into a nasty fight. You may even find yourself in a heated debate with a complete stranger who merely read your response. So, think twice before responding and be prepared for any subsequent reactions.

Take personal responsibility

No one can force you to participate in an argument or discussion. If you do not like the way a situation is affecting you, remove yourself from it. You have the option to simply cease communication regarding the matter or you can leave a final response that tells the other person or people that you feel too much energy has been wasted on the issue and agree to disagree. If the debate continues on without you, so be it. But at least you will no longer be part of it.

Categories
Life Coaching Success Coaching

Your Circle of Influence & Its Effect on Your Life

Throughout the course of our lives, we are all faced with countless people and events that impact us. Although some of these may dramatically change the course of history, such as the terrorist attacks on 9/11, others merely affect us as individuals, such as how much we choose to study for our college exams. Still, regardless of how substantial or trivial something may seem, the fact is: some things are out of our control. This is the principle behind the Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern.

The difference between these two issues is quite simple: the Circle of Influence includes the things an individual can control, such as our retirement savings, the wellbeing of our children, our own health, the family budget, and personal credit card debt. Conversely, the Circle of Concern is a broader spectrum and includes things over which we have limited or no control, such as world hunger, poverty, disease, terrorism, and the economy.

Recognizing the difference between these two may be easy, but changing our focus can be an entirely different matter. Still, there is significant evidence that individuals who focus their energy and resources on their direct circle of influence achieve greater levels of success, attain more of their personal goals and enjoy an immensely better quality of life. But why does the circle of influence have such bearing on our overall lives?

The reason the circle of influence is so important is because the more we focus on the things we can control, the broader the circle becomes.

As an example, imagine a clerk at a chain office supply store who is unhappy with his job. He likes the customers and enjoys being of service to them, but he is unfulfilled by the position he holds and wants to start his own print shop. Instead of letting his unhappiness consume him, he performs the best job he knows how, offers excellent customer service, earning respect and repeat business from many local offices and shops. As a result, when he opens his shop, he already has a vast network of clients who appreciate his attentiveness and believe in his abilities.

The world is filled with people who are unhappy with their current situation but are either unsure or unaware of how to increase their circle of influence. Some of the things that prevent us from achieving the things we want and need can seem so insignificant that we do not see them as a threat. Yet, these are the biggest obstacles of all. There are numerous things in your direct circle of influence that can sabotage personal goals, from the way you spend your time and how much television you watch to how you treat others, the people you associate with and how much effort you put into the products and services you deliver.

It all comes down to choices and while you may not be able to control everything all over the world, working hard to take care of what you are able can make or break your entire life. No one expects you to single-handedly eradicate the federal deficit, stop global warming or prevent all contagious diseases. However, you are not powerless. You have the power of choice. You can educate yourself and your children and exercise your right to vote, control the energy use in your own home and maintain healthy habits and vaccines. Control the things you can and do not use the inability to stop an entire problem as an excuse to take no action at all.

(Image credit)

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Life Coaching

Self-Sabotage: Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

Many individuals are victims of terrible sabotage from the person who is supposed to be the most helpful, trustworthy person they know: themselves! To compound the problem, it is possible to experience these damaging self-betrayals without even realizing it. For many people, self-sabotage is second nature. These individuals have been getting in their own way and preventing themselves from achieving success and good fortune since childhood. Being programmed to self-sabotage at an early age, how can one stop such behavior?

Recognizing Destructive Behavior

Two of the most obvious self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination and addiction. However, not all of them are so obvious.

Being Overly Modest

Growing up, most children are taught that it is impolite to brag. Therefore, as teenagers and adults, many people continuously question how their skills and abilities will be perceived by peers and colleagues. Individuals may ask themselves, “Will others be bitter that I have succeeded where they have not?” “Will it seem like I am trying to make them look bad?”

The trouble with this line of thinking is that there is nothing wrong with having knowledge, skills or abilities. If a person has worked hard to learn or accomplish something, he should not be ashamed to admit it. People are responsible for their own opportunities to learn and achieve. Anyone who attempts to discredit someone’s accomplishments is likely unhappy about his own.

People-Pleasing

There is nothing wrong with offering to do something for someone else. But, when a person goes out of his way to do favors for others in hopes of being liked and accepted, at the expense of his own responsibilities, there is a problem. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, it is absolutely normal to upset someone on occasion. As the old adage goes, “You can’t please all the people all the time.”

Seeking the constant approval of everyone is not only virtually impossible, but also unhealthy. It becomes a battle between pleasing everyone else and meeting personal needs. And for most people who have this strong need to please everyone, personal needs will typically lose.

Perfectionism

No one wants to deliver low quality results in a project or assignment. However, perfectionism can lead to serious problems in a person’s professional and personal life. This form of self-sabotage can make it impossible for an individual to meet deadlines, keep appointments or accomplish simple tasks. Unwilling to settle for anything less than perfection, individuals may nitpick the details of a project or email until there is absolutely no chance of it being completed or sent on time. This is might be seen as laziness or lack of respect for the value of others’ time.

While there are countless other ways a person can sabotage themselves, these are some of the most prevalent. For most people, putting a stop to self-sabotage would not be that difficult, if they were aware that they were doing it. The problem is that these behaviors come so naturally and it can seem impossible to curb behavior that has become second nature. Still, there is hope. Individuals simply need to take stock of their behaviors and thoughts and work to change the destructive patterns. It is not impossible, it just takes some additional effort.

(photo credit)

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General Life Coaching Success Coaching

Preventing Identity Theft

In today’s modern world, it is not uncommon to pay bills, shop and even handle banking completely online. The internet has offered us the convenience of a full range of products and services from the comfort of home, all at the click of a mouse. Still, with all of this convenience, we are becoming increasingly more vulnerable to identity theft. Although there is little that can be done to stop these thieves from preying on unsuspecting victims, there are some precautions that may help in thwarting the attempts of would-be thieves.

Handle with care.

For many individuals, identity theft conjures up images of hackers extracting personal information from online transactions. However, while this is certainly a threat, traditional mail can pose a risk, as well. When mailing bill payments and other sensitive information, avoid unsecured curbside mailboxes. Instead, use a freestanding United States Postal Service mailbox or take such items directly to the post office and mail them from an inside drop box.

Be mindful of ATM machines.

With added convenience comes added concern. When using an ATM machine, observe your surroundings to see if anyone may be standing too closely. While no one wants to wrongfully accuse someone of a criminal act, the fact remains that people have been known to use camera phone to photograph debit and credit card numbers, along with pin numbers, only to later make fraudulent purchases. Always shield your transaction with one hand, even if it does not appear that anyone can see.

Is the website secure?

One of the easiest ways to determine if the website you are about to use has a secure connection is to look at the address when you are about to make a payment. Any address with “https” is secure, because that is what the “s” means. If the address does not contain an “s”, do not give your card number, without a secure connection, you are making your information vulnerable to thieves.

Be proactive.

Make it a habit to monitor bank and credit statements regularly, to catch any unfamiliar charges immediately. Moreover, take advantage of the free annual copy of your credit report, which is offered by all three major credit reporting agencies. Many people have been able to stop identity thieves early by monitoring accounts and charges that are open in their names.

It is truly sickening that we live in a society that forces us to be so suspicious. However being vigilant is often our only defense. By taking a few simple steps, we can prevent ourselves from becoming victims. The earlier thieves are caught, the better chance we have of regaining our financial reputation. Never assume you cannot become a victim. We are all vulnerable and must take precautions.

(photo credit)

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Life Coaching Personal Coaching Wellness

Overcoming Clutter

Clutter is unattractive and hinders productivity, however many individuals may not realize it can also contribute to some serious health issues. Upper respiratory problems, decreased energy, depression, and weight gain have all been linked to cluttered or disorganized home environments. While more prevalent in severe cases, even slight levels of clutter can interfere with a healthy lifestyle. Still, when organization is simply not your forte, how can you minimize these effects?

Sometimes, clutter begins with good intentions. Maybe you were going to read that stack of magazines and newspapers, but just never found the time. Perhaps you wanted to keep those souvenirs and mementos from family vacations and special events, but you have not been able to find a way to display them. Whatever the reason, the clutter has gotten so out of control that you have no idea where or how to begin organizing your space, so now it just continues to pile up.

The first item on the agenda is to eliminate any overabundance of paper. Magazines that are older than two months past their publishing date and newspapers that are more than a couple of days old can be put in the recycling bin or donated to a local library, hospital or physician’s office. Other items will likely require some family cooperation.

To prevent becoming overwhelmed by the task of organizing and removing unnecessary items around the home, the best approach is often to divide and conquer. By delegating various tasks to each member of the household, the amount of work to be done will seem much more workable. However, once each room or area of the house has been assigned, the task at hand still may seem insurmountable. But by making a list of individual tasks within your room or area and finishing them one by one, your goal of organization can be achieved much quicker and easier than you may have imagined.

Start small; begin with one drawer or shelf. Though it can be tempting to stop working on one task when another catches your eye, resist the urge. Jumping from task to task makes it more difficult to see how much has been completed and what still needs to be done. Moreover, numerous unfinished tasks give the illusion that the job, as a whole, is more complex than it actually is. Thus making it seem hopeless that completion is a realistic objective.

Another issue that may arise when organizing your home is what to do with everything. For items that are used routinely, of course put them in their rightful places. All other items have a few options: donation, garage sale, garbage or recycling bin, or keepsake boxes. Items that are no longer useful are not necessarily trash. Ask yourself: is this item an important memento of a special occasion or event? If so, use a bin, trunk, box, or other storage container to house it, then put the container in a closet or under the bed so it will no longer be part of the clutter. All other items can either be donated or put into a garage sale.

Still, some things are no longer useful or meaningful and will not be of interest to others. Such items need to be discarded. Old, broken or outdated electronics can be recycled by electronics retailers and some will even offer gift cards or discounts toward new products. Additionally, older computers, televisions and other devices may be needed by local charities, schools or other organizations.

When clutter becomes excessive, even items that are important or useful may become concealed or buried. Still, any level of clutter or disorganization can be defeated with a little determination and planning. It all starts with one shelf or drawer.

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Life Coaching

Optimism and Self Confidence

Sometimes it seems so funny how simple things can be overlooked in the midst of our busy lives. But it is really difficult to argue with simple logic and there appears to be a significant link between optimism and self-confidence. While this may seem like an elementary concept, stop for a moment and think, when you go into a situation with a positive attitude or outlook, don’t things seem to go a little smoother? The same is true of your self-confidence. The mind is a powerful thing. People who have a positive perspective are more likely to be successful in their careers, marriages and life as a whole, than their pessimistic friends or colleagues. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to learn that optimism and self-confidence go hand in hand.

self confidence coachingFor example, imagine there is a large conference with a few hundred of your professional peers from all over the country. The guest speaker, faced with an emergency has been forced to cancel and now, though you have not been with the company for much more than a year, your boss has nominated you to deliver an important presentation, in which you will touch on numerous topics related to your organization and its direction in relation to the state of the global economy. While it is easy to succumb to the immense pressure and anxiety, constantly telling yourself that you are not qualified to speak at such a function, optimism can afford you charisma you were not aware existed within your soul.

Rather than falling victim to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure and ruin, why not take the road less traveled? Consider the positive outcome. If you successfully deliver this presentation, you will gain respect and admiration from countless peers and superiors. Not to mention, that your boss will be most appreciative and know that he can count on you when there is a difficult situation. Instead of running through the disaster that has a rare probability of coming to fruition, visualize the wonderful

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opportunities that might result from this kind of chance. After all, as the saying goes, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

Still, there are times when all of your optimism is shattered by the negativity of others. So how can you remain optimistic when you are the only one with this view? It is not easy, but it can be done. There are some helpful tips that can help you keep your focus and may even change other people’s perspective.

  1. Kill with kindness. Yes, it is somewhat cliché, but it works. Misery loves company and when pessimists see that their attempts are futile, they will typically move on to another target.
  2. Inspire and encourage others. For some people, it is not a matter of perspective, but public opinion. Just like an ugly rumor, it is difficult to ignore something when it is repeated over and over. Therefore, whenever someone seems to be extremely negative, it could be that his ideas, skills or talents have gone overlooked for so long that he no longer bothers to put forth the effort. In this case, reminding him of his value could be the key to changing his entire attitude.
  3. Do not be critical of others. Always remember that when you point the finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you. Instead of blaming and criticizing others, ask why things are done a certain way and offer alternative solutions.
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About Coaching Health Coaching Life Coaching Personal Coaching

Coaches Help Keep Resolutions

New Year’s is an excellent time to reflect on the past year and anticipate

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the wonder of the coming year. During this special time, a vast majority of the population makes some sort of New Year’s resolution. The idea is that with the coming of the New Year, it is possible to start anew. Thus overwhelming tasks, such as losing weight, quitting smoking or taking control of finances can seem firmly within reach, after all, there is a whole year to work on it.

Unfortunately, for many, New Year’s merely serves as a reminder of unfinished tasks and failed attempts to change for the better. As the calendar page turns to reveal a new year, an individual may think back over the previous year and feel defeated if he did not accomplish all of the goals he set for himself.

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He may not be able to focus on the accomplishments and positive things that transpired; instead he may have a negative mind-set, only concentrating on his failures and disappointments.

coaching helps keep resolutionsCountless individuals wrestle with feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing, particularly as they begin to obsess over factors that contributed to previous failures. For these individuals, each year begins with a new, vicious cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy, in which the letdowns compound into a belief that no goal is attainable and any future attempts will be equally fruitless and therefore futile. At this juncture, a life coach can offer the positive support and encouragement needed to not only stop this cycle of negativity lingering from past discontent, but also to suggest new ways to approach keeping a New Year’s resolution.

Finding a coach who has knowledge about successfully triumphing over a specific hurdle can unlock the potential hidden behind all of the self doubt and delusion plaguing countless people. Therefore, someone who has attempted to quit smoking or lose weight on her own numerous times, only to fail, can indeed find the path to victory, simply by finding the perfect coach to show her the way.

Unlike the support of friends or family,

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who despite their best efforts can only offer opinions, a life coach has fought this battle many times on behalf of others and may have even experienced the same issue himself before using his insight and passion to help others. For many life coaches, career coaches and health coaches, a personal struggle led them to help others avoid the difficulty experienced in overcoming these challenges. Moreover, a coach has is unique in that there is no bias or personal motive tied to the assistance offered. As a professional mentor, his only intention is to drive the success of his client. He seeks no personal gain and feels accomplished only when his client has realized her goal. In a world of individuals who only desire self-promotion, this level of support can seem like a foreign concept, but lacking such strong encouragement is perhaps part of the reason of what causes so many to be unsuccessful.

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About Coaching Life Coaching

Life Coaching Questions

What is a Life Coach?

A Life Coach is a skilled and trained professional who employs various methods, techniques and resources to help an individual set and realize an explicit personal goal, such as weight loss, getting a new job or quitting smoking. These skilled mentors are generally successful motivators and they use this charisma to keep people on track when previous attempts to reach their goals have failed.

Are Life Coaches Psychologists?

While they share certain characteristics, life coaches are not therapists or counselors. Life coaches are usually knowledgeable in psychology, sociology and other sciences of human nature, but psychological evaluation, intervention and treatment are not within the capabilities of their expertise. Still, there are extensive training and education programs available to credible professionals seeking to substantiate their knowledge and competency.

Is “Life Coaching” a Way to Avoid Regulation?

In the past some critics have argued that life coaching is merely unregulated psychotherapy. However, these claims have been discredited since life coaching does not examine or diagnose mental illness or past trauma.

Why Hire a Life Coach?

Skills and teachings gained from a life coach can develop into permanent lessons that can change unwanted habits and behaviors, other than those related to the specific goal at hand. Therefore temporarily hiring a life coach can drastically improve numerous aspects of the client’s life.

Is a Life Coach Like a Boss?

No, the client should always be in control. A life coach is merely meant to help maintain perspective and focus, offering suggestions for approaching challenges. The outcome of each session should be based on what a client hopes to achieve for himself, not about what the coach wants him to achieve.

What if the Expectations or Goals Are Unclear?

For some individuals, a problem can be so overwhelming that the path to

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an overall success is hazy. In this instance a

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life coach would help the individual clarify what steps are necessary and attainable in order to progress toward the desired results.

What is the Length of a Typical Coaching Relationship?

This depends entirely upon the situation. But in general, 6-12 months would suffice. Participating in less than 6 months would significantly decrease the probability of long-term success. Yet an arrangement extending beyond 12 months would likely enable the client to familiarize himself with the techniques

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of his coach, thereby diminishing his effectiveness.

Why is Life Coaching Effective?

In hiring a life coach, a person is seeking to learn from someone who has knowledge and expertise in an area that is difficult for them to master. Hiring a life coach allows an individual to learn what behavior patterns are preventing him from reaching certain goals. By consulting a life coach, the individual can obtain an unbiased point of view from someone who can utilize the negative information to formulate solutions.