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How to Identify and Stop an Office Bully

Children are often exposed to bullies in the classroom, but there are also adults who face bullies every day when they go to work. A bully in the workplace often employs subtle tactics to make his co-workers feel inferior and weak, and he can make life very uncomfortable for the people he works with. Here is how to tell if you are being bullied in the workplace and what you can do about it.

How to Identify a Bully at Work

Adult bullies are sometimes difficult to identify because they employ sneaky tactics. A bully may ignore your role in the office, and he may leave you out of important conversations. He may even take credit for your accomplishments or say negative things about you to others. A bully may be your superior, but he may also be someone who works in a lower position. He may try to make you feel as though you are inadequate and ineffective, and he may try to convince you that your job performance is less than satisfactory.

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A bully’s actions can make it difficult for you to enjoy your job, especially if you spend your time away from work thinking about how you are being treated. You may dread going to work each day, and you may find yourself indulging in bad habits to overcome your feelings. You may even begin to feel the physical effects of bullying, such as anxiety, depression and frequent illnesses.

How to Stop Bullying at Work

It can be difficult to stop a bully in the workplace, but it is not impossible. Before you accuse someone of bullying, you need to carefully analyze the situation. In some cases, you may be overly sensitive or are simply experiencing a person’s bad attitude at work. If the person is truly a bully, he will actively try to interfere with your ability to do your job by targeting your emotions. Once you have identified that you are being bullied, you should start documenting your interactions with the bully. As you work together, remain professional and calm despite his negative comments and threats. Take your documentation to a supervisor or to the human resources department so that someone else can step in and stop the negative behavior. If you don’t get the support you need, you may need to look at getting a job elsewhere.

If you are being bullied at work, you need to take action.By taking these steps to identify and stop a bully, you may be able to save yourself and your coworkers from being harassed in the office.

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Coaching Children to Cope with Bullies

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It is an unfortunate fact of life the world over: bullies lurk everywhere and strike without warning. While the problem is not new, it is currently gaining significant attention. This is partly due to the tragic suicides of countless adolescents who could not bear the ritualistic torture and degradation any longer. This distressing reality is of growing concern to many parents, school faculty and government officials. But this heart wrenching statistic is thoroughly preventable.

children bulliesThough there may be little hope of avoiding bullies altogether, there are a number of steps that parents can take to minimize this threat, until the stricter regulations proposed at the government level are implemented. Some of the most simple solutions are often the most helpful. As such, small things such as involving children in social or team activities, embracing the differences of others and encouraging children to laugh at themselves when they make mistakes can go a long way in bully proofing.Anti-bully coaches agree that children who have a positive home environment and high self esteem are less likely to be targeted by bullies. Therefore, it is important to establish a relationship with children that fosters compassion and respect. Additionally, the type of discipline used in the home can greatly impact the fragile balance of a child’s emotional development. Because children imitate what they see and experience, rather than what they are told, spanking and other aggressive punishments serve to encourage violence or fear as a solution to life’s problems. This is a slippery slope that could result in a child becoming an easy target or seeking out peers to define his own authority or control, since he feels powerless at home.Another mistake people often make is teaching children to be submissive or overly patient. While no one wants an unruly child who refuses to share or wait his turn, too much of these teachings can imply that it is wrong to disagree with someone or speak up for yourself. More parents need to teach that while it is wrong to take something from another child, it is okay to ask for a turn or to voice an opinion if something seems unfair, unjust or incorrect. Bullies pursue children who are unlikely to resist or fight back. Thus a child who always allows others to take advantage of him will easily become a bully’s next target.

Additionally, being too dependent on parents or a caregiver can create an image of vulnerability. A child needs to feel secure and know that he can depend on support and comfort from his family, but no parent can be everywhere his child is at all times. It is important for children to develop independence and learn self sufficiency. A parent who is obsesses over of every small accident or caters to every whim or request of his child can send the message that the child does not need to solve anything on his own, all he has to do is tell his mommy or daddy and challenges will just go away. Though it would be a wonderful world if things were that simple, it is unrealistic to presume that others will always come to the rescue when things become uncomfortable or difficult. Not only do these delusions hurt a child’s ability to function in the world, but they also invite bullies to attack at will.

Bullies have been present since the dawn of time and even with new laws to protect victims, it is doubtful that the problem will ever be completely resolved. Still there are numerous ways to prevent future generations from this experiencing or causing much of this abuse.

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Parents typically hope to promote a healthy self-image for their children. Offering the encouragement, love and support. The last thing any parent wishes is for his child to feel insecure about himself. Therefore, parents try to spend quality time with children, meet physical needs and occasionally cater to special requests for toys, games or whatever may be trendy at the moment.

Yet, sometimes a child may lack something, emotionally, from his home environment. When this need cannot be fulfilled at home, the child may begin to seek it elsewhere. This is not always a bad thing. A child whose parents work long hours may request additional homework help from a teacher, since it is unlikely that he will be able to ask at home. In another scenario, a child who is moving because his father’s job is transferring the family to a new city may consult his guidance counselor about ways to stay in touch with schoolmates and teachers. These are perfectly acceptable ways for the child to cope with a problem.

Conversely, a child may wish to project his emotional strain onto someone else. Perhaps because he feels frustration in the midst of his parents’ divorce or because his mother grounded him for teasing his little sister. Sometimes the reason may simply be because the child feels threatened by another student’s talent in a specific academic area.

stop bullying kids with bullying coachingWhatever the reason, some children feel the need to prey on others. To some it may seem like harmless teasing, but bullying can lead to depression, destructive behavior, emotional outbursts, school attendance problems, difficulty concentrating, lower grades, and in some cases, suicide.

Faced with incessant torment, the first person a child will likely approach for help is a parent. However, many parents feel helpless, not knowing what to do or where to go for help. The instinctive reaction may be to take charge of the situation and contact the offending child’s parents. However, this action is often ineffective and may, in fact, make things worse. What’s more, the wrong reaction could result in more stress and anxiety for the bullied child, causing him not to reach out for help next time. Another logical solution is to speak with teachers, bus drivers and school officials about the problem. Yet, with so many children to supervise, it can be virtually impossible for school staff to manage this issue at all times.

So, what can be done to combat this serious issue?

In difficult situations, it is extremely beneficial to speak with someone who can suggest appropriate techniques for coping. That is why anti-bully coaches have recently become so popular. An anti-bully coach works to neutralize the root of the problem, by training children to be virtually bully proof. With

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a combination of role playing and counseling, the anti-bully coach teaches children and parents what steps to take to prevent the situation and how to react in the event that it does occur.

It may seem extreme to go to a complete stranger for help with such a personal problem. But rest assured that these experts have helped countless families. There is no shame in admitting that this problem requires an outsider’s perspective. Unfortunately, bullying is a problem many children and adolescents will face throughout their school years. Still, it does not have to result in tragic circumstances or rip families apart. There is help for children and their parents. No longer do children have to suffer needlessly in silence.