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Saving Money

Individuals who have a healthy body weight typically enjoy lower healthcare costs. This is not because there is a conspiracy against less healthy people. It is simple mathematics: healthy people do not need to visit a physician as often and usually do not have as many prescriptions as overweight or obese people. A person who is within a few pounds of his ideal weight may only see his doctor for his annual physical.Another way that losing weight can save money is by lowering the cost of grocery bills. Health conscious people do not buy as many packaged or processed foods, which are high in sodium and fat, as well as price. But groceries are not the only items that cost more when a person is overweight. Everything from the price of a plane ticket to the cost of a new outfit reflects a substantial difference. Some airlines go as far as requiring overweight passengers to purchase an additional ticket, which is not only expensive, but also humiliating.

More Energy

Countless individuals complain of excessive fatigue or malaise. However, many do not realize the amount of strain extra weight can place on the body. For better perspective, consider that a military knapsack typically weighs between 50 and 100 pounds. So an overweight person can be carrying the equivalent of a military knapsack, 24 hours a day. Not only does the excess weight feel heavy, but it is often awkwardly distributed, causing joints to be misaligned subsequently leading to poor balance and pain.

Lower Risk of Chronic Disease

Diabetes, cancer, heart disease, stroke, and even Alzheimer’s disease are more prevalent in individuals who are overweight or obese. Though the exact reasons for the link to Alzheimer’s disease and cancer are not clear, heart disease, stroke and diabetes have long been known for their association with weight and diet.

Mental Sharpness

More and more, researchers are finding links between obesity and memory problems. After losing weight, many individuals report feeling more focused on everyday tasks and fewer episodes of short-term memory loss. While science has yet to explain the reason for the mental impairment among the obese, it is becoming clear that the effects can be reversed once some of the weight is lost.

Increased Libido

Although simply being overweight does not necessarily cause sexual dysfunction, the co-morbidities associated with it have a significant impact. Problems such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes affect blood flow, which hinders men’s ability to perform. Similarly, women often experience decreased desire as a result.There are countless reasons to lose weight and become healthy. But healthy does not mean conforming to the unrealistic standard that everyone should look like a fashion model or actor. Healthy simply means that a person has found a balance of physical activity and proper nutrition. Too often, people give up on trying to lose any weight because they feel overwhelmed. But any positive step, no matter how small, can make a huge difference in the quality of your life.

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Too many times, parents do not address important topics with their children because of a number of myths. It is time to dispel these myths so that parents can offer the guidance and support that their children so desperately need and deserve.

MYTH: If my kids find out that I smoked pot, my kids will think it is okay.

Do not let the fear of being a hypocrite stop you from talking to your kids. Be honest. Teens are realistic and they know that parents are not perfect. If you experimented with something dangerous, tell them. Then explain what made you want to engage in the activity and any negative repercussions you faced as a result. Help them understand that you have rationale for your views.

MYTH: Depression is a normal part of growing up, my son will snap out of it eventually.

While it may be true that everyone develops feelings of sadness or loneliness from time to time, prolonged depression is never normal. If your child has symptoms of depression that persist for more than a couple of weeks, you may want to consult his pediatrician. Not every case of depression requires medical attention, but it is always best to be safe.

MYTH: My parents didn’t talk to me about drugs, alcohol or sex and I turned out fine, so I don’t need to talk to my kids about it either.

Most children and teens are naturally curious about sex, drugs and alcohol. When parents do not speak to their children about serious issues, they will look to other sources for answers. Unfortunately, information gained through the media can be misleading or incomplete and information gathered from peers is typically inaccurate. The best way to ensure that children are adequately prepared to deal with situations that may arise, is to educate them and provide as many answers as possible. This does not mean that every parent should know everything about these topics, but if the child has a question that you are unable to answer, find the answer together through a reputable source.

MYTH: My daughter asked a question about birth control, she must be having sex.

Do not over-react. Remember, simply because the child asks about sex, drugs or alcohol, does not necessarily mean she has experimented or is considering it.

MYTH: My son would never try alcohol, he is an honor roll student. Besides, we live in a good neighborhood, so he is not exposed to drugs.

There is no specific type of person who uses drugs or alcohol. Everyone from the most intelligent student with the greatest potential to the high school drop out is susceptible. Moreover, there are no longer neighborhoods that are free from the threat of drugs or alcohol; from inner city apartments to the suburbs, drugs and alcohol are everywhere.

MYTH: My son knows the rule about drugs and alcohol, so there is no need to talk to him about it.

Never assume that a child will follow rules simply because they are in place. Children may rebel due to peer pressure or simply because they do not believe a rule is justified. Explain, do not lecture; teaching him why certain things are off limits will be more productive than a basic, “Because I said so.” Additionally, it reinforces the idea that he can be open with you.

When talking to your children about tough issues, remember to let your them know that no matter what the question or how serious the circumstances, they can always come to you and you will not jump to conclusions or make rash decisions. Encourage an open forum, in which they can discuss things without fear of punishment or judgment. Make expectations clear, but be willing to listen with an open mind. Children respond better to limits when they understand the reasoning behind rules.

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Culture Shock

Whether he has lived in the same city as his adoptive parents or will be coming to America for the first time when the adoption is final, moving to a new home is sure to be a little scary. All parents are naturally excited to introduce their new child to friends and family, but it is usually best to take things slowly. Overloading a child with too much too soon can cause him anxiety and stress, effectively lengthening the time he will need to adjust. In time, new parents will have the chance to introduce their family’s new addition.

Preparing the Child’s Room

Although they have good intentions, parents may want to refrain from decorating their new child’s room or selecting lots of new clothing for him. Walking into a new room that is already decorated may feel similar to walking into a museum, the exhibits are great, but they belong to the museum. For a child to feel that something is actually his, it helps to let him have some input. Allowing him to choose for himself will let him know that he is part of the family. Additionally, it shows him that his feelings are important and that his opinion matters.

Developing a Bond Before Coming Home

Unfortunately, adoption can be a lengthy process and the anticipation can be grueling for the child as well as his new family. But, there are some ways to develop a connection as everyone waits for the process to be complete. By exchanging letters, emails, phone calls, pictures, and other personal communication, the child and new family can get acquainted with each other and when the day finally arrives to bring the child home, he will feel more familiar with his new surroundings.

The Child’s Story

There is a reason why this child has been removed from his birth parents. More often than not, older children have come from a background of abuse or neglect. While it is not imperative to research every detail, a prospective parent should know some basic information about the circumstances from which he was removed, social or developmental issues and interests of the child. Learning some pertinent information before he comes home will enable the new family to better prepare his new home and understand things and situations that may make him anxious or uncomfortable.

It is easy for prospective parents to wonder if they will be able to meet all of their child’s needs. After all, he has been through so much and they want everything to be perfect. But the most essential needs a child has are for love, security and stability. It really does not make much difference to him how much money is spent or how many things he is given. For any child, especially those who have missed out on the experience, the most important thing in the world is a caring family. Although it will take some time and patience, eventually the child will know he is home and that the people around him are his family. In the mean time adoptive parents should remember that a child cannot be spoiled by love.

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1. Anti-Bully Coaching
2. Coaching Children to Cope with Bullies

Though many couples feel that they have full control of their relationship and that they do not need the help of an outside person, a marriage coach can help each party better understand the thoughts and feelings of the other. Without learning to read and communicate with his spouse, a husband may not realize how his actions affect her. Conversely, many wives assume that their husbands purposely ignore their wants and needs when, in fact, their husbands are merely unaware. The basic differences between the way men and women convey information can be the main reason for all of their problems.

Marriages coaches specialize in helping couples communicate and learn the silent cues of their partner. Just as important as verbal communication, nonverbal communication may contradict what is actually spoken. Things like facial expressions and body language are powerful. Couples have to learn to say what is intended, instead of expecting their partner to just automatically know.

Another issue that marriage coaches can target is passive aggressiveness. It is crucial for individuals to voice frustrations in a constructive manner. Attempts to hurt, embarrass or enrage the other spouse are damaging to any relationship. What is worse is that many individuals who resort to this type of behavior are not even aware that they are doing it. A marriage coach is able to observe and make notes to discuss with the couple. Once they are aware of their destructive patterns, each partner can begin to change his or her behavior and begin to work through the issues that divide them.

When a couple feels that their relationship is not worth saving or that there is nowhere to go for help, they may want to consider a marriage coach. Sometimes it takes a neutral observer to point out negative behaviors and suggest healthier, more productive ways to approach disagreements. Asking for help does not mean a couple is weak and cannot handle their personal problems, it means that they care enough about their marriage to give it the opportunity to heal.

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1. Meet Divorce Coach, Accountability Coach & Marriage Coach, Dr. Michael Brooks

For example, imagine there is a large conference with a few hundred of your professional peers from all over the country. The guest speaker, faced with an emergency has been forced to cancel and now, though you have not been with the company for much more than a year, your boss has nominated you to deliver an important presentation, in which you will touch on numerous topics related to your organization and its direction in relation to the state of the global economy. While it is easy to succumb to the immense pressure and anxiety, constantly telling yourself that you are not qualified to speak at such a function, optimism can afford you charisma you were not aware existed within your soul.

Rather than falling victim to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure and ruin, why not take the road less traveled? Consider the positive outcome. If you successfully deliver this presentation, you will gain respect and admiration from countless peers and superiors. Not to mention, that your boss will be most appreciative and know that he can count on you when there is a difficult situation. Instead of running through the disaster that has a rare probability of coming to fruition, visualize the wonderful opportunities that might result from this kind of chance. After all, as the saying goes, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

Still, there are times when all of your optimism is shattered by the negativity of others. So how can you remain optimistic when you are the only one with this view? It is not easy, but it can be done. There are some helpful tips that can help you keep your focus and may even change other people’s perspective.

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So what common qualities are shared by the most revered and trusted of these professionals?
One of the most important characteristics of coaching is authenticity. A coach relies more on personal history and life lessons than on formal education. Therefore, specialization depends on personal experiences. For example, a young bachelor who has never had a serious, long-term relationship would typically not be an effective marriage or relationship coach, although he could be phenomenal dating coach.

By the same token, it is crucial that a coach has a history of success in the aspect of his life that he wishes to specialize. Though he may have experienced a considerable number of dates with various young women, negative outcomes from those encounters would most likely discount his ability to provide beneficial advice to someone. The trial and error approach can be undertaken without anyone else’s help. But when an individual looks to a coach for assistance, he expects that he is choosing a guide who has intimate knowledge of the most direct path to his specific goal.

As with most positions that necessitate a close personal relationship with clients, coaches must have impeccable communication skills. The ability to easily convey ideas and advice without appearing to be condescending is vital to a successful bond with clients. An individual wants to feel that he can trust his coach to lead the way, because he has been in a similar situation and achieved a positive result. Still, no one wants to feel embarrassed or ignorant. Thus, anyone who decides to pursue coaching as a career must learn appropriate techniques to express respect and empathy, while redirecting a client’s focus when necessary.

The field of coaching is a versatile career path. Individuals may choose to specialize in countless subspecialties. This unique occupation offers many challenging and rewarding opportunities for people who enjoy helping others accomplish specific tasks or goals. Coaches provide a valuable service to individuals who have exhausted other attempts to succeed alone. However, reaching the rewards and endless opportunities available to coaches requires a significant amount of hard work and commitment, not to mention a natural aptitude for helping others cope with often complex issues. Those select few who have what it takes will find a career that will take them wherever they would like to go in life.

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Six business owners sit around a table.

John asks, “ Why don’t I accomplish those tasks that I have agreed to accomplish? Month after month, I know what needs to be done and yet, I am not doing them?”

Ron says “Delegate it.”

John reacts, “But I can’t. If I don’t understand the steps, and practice them until I get the results I want, I can’t ask anyone else to do it.”

“Why Not?” I ask. “Surely they can also figure it out.”

“They might not want to do it.” Sue says.

“There is no time to organize, and train someone else to new tasks. “ Craig states.

“It looks like I am unwilling to do it myself.” Faye answers.

“They won’t do it right”  Ron states.

“It makes me look bad if I don’t understand all of the skills required to complete the task.” says John.

Wow, I think. These thoughts enslave not only these business leaders, but everyone that works with them.

“ I wonder what your employees would say if they could hear you.  What do you really mean when you say those things? What is the thought behind the thought? “ I ask.

“If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.”

“They don’t do it as well as I do.”

“I need to show my workers that I am willing to work as hard as they are working.”

“I look stupid if I don’t understand everything.”

“I won’t deserve my income.”

“They may not like me.”

My jaw drops as we sink deeper and deeper into the cesspool of unharnessed limiting beliefs.  These comments are coming out of the mouths of successful business owners.  It took months of meeting and getting to know each other to become quite this honest with each other.

These are The Golden Handcuffs. 

I too have felt a tremendous sense of guilt if I sat at my desk seemingly immobile while I demanded that they – my employees- work their tails off for the good of the company. When would they figure me for the fraud I think I am?

What’s important for any business person who feels trapped, who feels enslaved by the golden handcuffs is the shift you must take in your own thinking. You must move from thinking about being successful and about all that you must do (overwhelm!) and start to think about how you can help another person be successful and allow them to do it. This is the critical shift we make when we decide to lead instead of manage other people.  And it is the Key to the Golden Handcuffs.

The first step is to be very clear about who you are and where you are going: also known as:  your mission and your vision. This may not be as easy as if sounds. You will have to think deeply, or even rethink deeply about why you are on this planet and what you plan to accomplish. It doesn’t have to be complicated but it does need to totally resonate with who you really are.

Here are some great ones I’ve heard: “We are the trustworthy guides in a complicated and changing landscape.” “We are the most accurate when accuracy is required.” “We change the lives of all the people we touch by creating calm.” ” We put the puzzle together so our clients don’t have to.” “We conduct the orchestra of diverse players.” “We are a conduit of great ideas.” “We get the money so that you don’t have to.” “We change to world by supporting artists.”

Secondly, if you want to be a true leader, you will soon realize that you cannot accomplish your life’s purpose alone.  You need other people to travel with you, and you will have to explain your purpose so that they can chose to travel with you or not.  You may have to tell people your purpose over and over again. Their success depends on completely absorbing and understanding your purpose, so much so that it becomes theirs. There should be no ambiguity. They can only be successful when they can answer the questions “Who are we?” and  “Where are we going?” Of course, first you need to answer those questions for yourself.

Lastly, once you have clearly communicated your mission, vision and purpose, your role will start to change from a manager of people to a visionary and a coach. Start to spend more time blazing the trail, designing systems, and coaching. By definition, coaching means that you ask great questions, think strategically, and allow others to find solutions. You will have to stop managing everyone and everything. This type of leadership can happen anywhere and at any level. It is respected and valued. Ask anyone. 



Here is where a business, leadership coach together with a mastermind group can help:

Think about and develop your clear and compelling purpose. Create habits and rituals that support both your purpose and your new role as a leader.  This path, as with all worthy paths, is fraught with temptations to step back into your comfort zone. You can’t always see your own beliefs and what is preventing you from moving forward. But with accountability and insight from a coach and a peer group, you will free yourself from your handcuffs and when you do you will free everyone else around you.  Developing this focus will help you eliminate everything that isn’t truly creating success and moving you toward your vision.  Most importantly, you will not be alone.


Loneliness is the friend of overwhelm. Togetherness is its enemy.  Leaders create togetherness.  

About Ruth Schwartz (in her words):  I am an internationally certified coach through the International Coaching Federation, trained by the Academy of Coaching and NLP. I am a facilitator of peer advisory mastermind groups and I own the management development and marketing company High Performance Advocates.

You can visit her site here.

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While it is important to have the support of school officials and policy makers, the most significant factor in changing these statistics remains in parental responsibility. Parents must encourage physical activity and incorporate healthy snacks and meals into children’s routines. To accomplish this, it will most likely be necessary for parents to re-evaluate their own habits, but leading by example may actually do more for the cause than any other action.

There are numerous ways for parents to get their children involved in healthier lifestyles.

Plan Outdoor Activities

Though everyone seems to be busier and have more obligations these days, there are usually one or two days out of the week when there is some available down time. Parents can use this time to plan family ball games, bicycle trips or simple nature walks. The activity is not as important as the idea of being active.

Healthy Dining

After a long day at work many parents resort to fast food as a quick way to solve the dinner conundrum. However, with a little planning, healthy meals can be just as quick and more cost effective. By making casseroles and soups ahead and freezing them for later, a nutritious home-cooked meal can be as close as the microwave.

Alternative Snacks

When left to their own devices, children will choose unhealthy, easily accessible foods to fill the gap between meals. This unhealthy snacking can be thwarted by having a selection of raw fruits and vegetables or nuts pre-packaged. A platter of carrot stick and fat-free dressing takes mere minutes to prepare and offers much more sustainability than a bag of greasy potato chips.

Monitor Electronics

This does not mean parents need to be the “internet police,” but setting guidelines about how long children can be on the internet, play video games or watch television helps them find healthier ways to spend their time. This can also be used as a reward system; for example if little Billy keeps his room clean all week, he may play his video games an additional 30 minutes on Saturday.

These are some creative ways to intervene in children’s lives and help them make healthy choices. The lessons learned early will remain through adulthood and help them lead longer, healthier lives. The gift of health is the greatest thing a parent can give a child.

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1. Anti-Bully Coaching
2. Coaching Children to Cope with Bullies

It is an unfortunate fact of life the world over: bullies lurk everywhere and strike without warning. While the problem is not new, it is currently gaining significant attention. This is partly due to the tragic suicides of countless adolescents who could not bear the ritualistic torture and degradation any longer. This distressing reality is of growing concern to many parents, school faculty and government officials. But this heart wrenching statistic is thoroughly preventable.

Though there may be little hope of avoiding bullies altogether, there are a number of steps that parents can take to minimize this threat, until the stricter regulations proposed at the government level are implemented. Some of the most simple solutions are often the most helpful. As such, small things such as involving children in social or team activities, embracing the differences of others and encouraging children to laugh at themselves when they make mistakes can go a long way in bully proofing.

Anti-bully coaches agree that children who have a positive home environment and high self esteem are less likely to be targeted by bullies. Therefore, it is important to establish a relationship with children that fosters compassion and respect. Additionally, the type of discipline used in the home can greatly impact the fragile balance of a child’s emotional development. Because children imitate what they see and experience, rather than what they are told, spanking and other aggressive punishments serve to encourage violence or fear as a solution to life’s problems. This is a slippery slope that could result in a child becoming an easy target or seeking out peers to define his own authority or control, since he feels powerless at home.

Another mistake people often make is teaching children to be submissive or overly patient. While no one wants an unruly child who refuses to share or wait his turn, too much of these teachings can imply that it is wrong to disagree with someone or speak up for yourself. More parents need to teach that while it is wrong to take something from another child, it is okay to ask for a turn or to voice an opinion if something seems unfair, unjust or incorrect. Bullies pursue children who are unlikely to resist or fight back. Thus a child who always allows others to take advantage of him will easily become a bully’s next target.

Additionally, being too dependent on parents or a caregiver can create an image of vulnerability. A child needs to feel secure and know that he can depend on support and comfort from his family, but no parent can be everywhere his child is at all times. It is important for children to develop independence and learn self sufficiency. A parent who is obsesses over of every small accident or caters to every whim or request of his child can send the message that the child does not need to solve anything on his own, all he has to do is tell his mommy or daddy and challenges will just go away. Though it would be a wonderful world if things were that simple, it is unrealistic to presume that others will always come to the rescue when things become uncomfortable or difficult. Not only do these delusions hurt a child’s ability to function in the world, but they also invite bullies to attack at will.

Bullies have been present since the dawn of time and even with new laws to protect victims, it is doubtful that the problem will ever be completely resolved. Still there are numerous ways to prevent future generations from this experiencing or causing much of this abuse.

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Many people are prevented from reaching their desired target simply because of their own insecurities or obsession with small obstacles. In a sense, the self fulfilling prophecy dooms them to fail before they actually begin. The belief that he will be unsuccessful can have a dramatic impact on how a person approaches his situation. There is great power in a positive perspective and spiritual coaching helps change the thinking that gears failure.

For many, these nagging thoughts of inadequacy stem from years of conditioning. Throughout school, athletics, competitions and work, there are always times when a person may question his worth or feel that he is undeserving of his ambitions. It becomes second nature to assume that some unknown force has preordained the outcome and that he has no control over his own destiny because every event, regardless of how small or trivial, has already been determined. However, this thinking is incorrect and can contribute to depression, anxiety or other mental health struggles. Getting off of this roller coaster of negativity is difficult, particularly when most people are not aware that they are causing many of their own grievances.

Spiritual coaching helps to eliminate the self-doubt and enables people to re-examine their outlook. This type of coaching works to help individuals let go of the uncertainty and other hurdles that prevent them from accomplishing their goals. Moreover, spiritual coaches teach people how to dismiss negative events and small stresses that occur on a daily basis and how to better interpret their own thoughts and feelings. This spiritual awakening teaches the art of conscious living, allowing an individual to live with more positivity and happiness. Self assurance and confidence can do amazing things for a person. When people stop dwelling on negativity and worrying about insignificant or irrelevant things, the possibilities are virtually endless. Spiritual coaching is an investment in the life a person ultimately wants for himself and his family, in that regard, it is truly priceless.

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